My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
