Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I still have a little drunk in my system
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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