I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
