Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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