doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
