she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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