people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
