next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You may now shotgun with the bride
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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