right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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