I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
