You're so nebulous sometimes
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
