dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
