i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
