The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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