oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize