so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
