i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize