I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
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I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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