Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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