You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
