I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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