no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
