i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
