It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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