did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
third nipple confirmed
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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