They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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