he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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