there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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