Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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