I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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