WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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