im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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