There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
