I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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