I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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