No stitches, just platelets and will power
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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