There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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