Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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