You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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