he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
