You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
that may or may not have been my penis.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
