so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
