Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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