told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
