Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
