I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
