A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
