I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
