There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
