update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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