He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
