i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
