So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
