Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize