I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
