I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
