Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize