I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
