Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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