I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
